


I'll Cover You

by UisceOneLove



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And recovers, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Getting Together, Grief, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Merlin finally grieves, Pre-Slash, sort of character study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-09 01:58:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11094513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UisceOneLove/pseuds/UisceOneLove
Summary: Merlin knows that people have been watching him. He didn’t have to look at them to know it; just the feeling of their eyes weighing down on him was confirmation enough.The thing was that he didn’t care.Arthur was angered by it, sure. Morgana got a fire in her eyes every time she came across it and gladly shut it down. Gwen would take him by the arm and lead him away while giving looks of her own.But Merlin? There was just…nothing. He had nothing left inside him to care or do a thing about it.





	I'll Cover You

**Author's Note:**

> So up front, I'll say that Arthur doesn't actually come in until near the end, but we all love Merlin anyway so I hope that you're still up for reading. Anyways, enjoy! 
> 
> And yeah, I kinda took the title from one of my favorite Rent songs. The story doesn't really follow a storyline like the song, but it's what I was listening to on loop while writing this, so.

Merlin knows that people have been watching him. He didn’t have to look at them to know it; just the feeling of their eyes weighing down on him was confirmation enough.

The thing was that he didn’t care.

Arthur was angered by it, sure. Morgana got a fire in her eyes every time she came across it and gladly shut it down. Gwen would take him by the arm and lead him away while giving looks of her own.

But Merlin? There was just…nothing. He had nothing left inside him to care or do a thing about it.

That’s what he knew bothered his friends the most.

It wasn’t that Merlin didn’t try. Because he did, in the beginning.

But he didn’t have enough spirit to succeed. There’s nothing but pain and darkness. A numbness that swallowed him whole as soon as he woke in the morning.

After Aredian’s torture and threats, even seeing him fall to his death didn’t fix what was broken inside of Merlin. He couldn’t even find a voice that spoke of annoyance during the pestering care his master and friends began.

Then there was the nightmare that caused his magick to go haywire and shatter every single glass pane of the castle with a storm. That’s when Gauis drew the line.

“You’re going to Ealdor.”

Merlin blinked at the older man. His dinner made a wet _plop_ when it slipped off his spoon and fell back into the bowl. 

“Excuse me?”

“I talked to Arthur and he has agreed to give you some time off,” Gauis poured water into a goblet and set it in front of the young warlock. “I think it would be time best spent with your mother.”

For a second, Merlin felt panic bubble up. “You’re forcing me to leave?” That was a little bit of a betrayal. “What about you? You should be taking a break, too, you were the first one Aredian targeted, Gaius.”

“I was,” the older man agreed, “and I am recovering the only ways I can. You, Merlin, you haven’t.”

“That’s ridiculous, I’m…” Merlin sighed, dropping it. They both knew it was a lie. There wasn’t anything in him to try.

“You’re not.”

To have Gauis concerned was a heavy power. He was the most he had for a responsible and paternal figure. Merlin loved the man. And he was so tired, he needed to find out if he could fix this thing inside of him. Going home to his mum…that would be something he didn’t think would happen.

“I’m not,” Merlin admitted softly.

“Please, Merlin. We all care for you.” Gauis placed a hand on the warlock’s shoulder, eyes just as pleading as his voice. “I think this would be good for you.”

“Is this coming solely from you, or did you talk to Arthur about this part too?” He asked, feeling the slightest of bitter.

“I did not tell him about this, no,” Gauis answered. “I wasn’t sure how much of a fight you were going to put up. But I can tell him if you are going.”

Merlin stared down at his supper and pushed it away. “You’ll watch over him for me?” If he’s supposed to walk away from his destiny for a few days then he’d need that. He can’t protect Arthur himself right now, but he definitely can’t do anything if he isn’t in Camelot at all. It also meant he wouldn’t be around to keep Uther’s claws out of the young prince.

“I will do my utmost. I do believe that I won’t be alone on it, thanks to Guinevere and Morgana.”

That was good. He could rely on them, and they’d done him well the last time he went to Ealdor.

“All right,” Merlin spoke up with a nod. “I’ll leave at first light.”

-o-

 

Unable to sleep that night, Merlin took it upon himself to prepare his bag. Some clothes, the book Gaius had given him when he first arrived in Camelot, and some gifts that came from his dear friends. The more he thought about seeing his mum the more there was a longing. This could turn out to be the best decision for him and Gaius might not use it against him this time. When dawn arrived, the old healer gave him some food for the journey and a flask of water. Merlin couldn’t stay long and so he took the trip to the stables on his own. 

Unsurprising to him, Gwen and Morgana shows up as he was finishing the preparations of his horse.

“Are you sure we can’t convince you to let us come with you again?” Gwen asked as she hugged him. Merlin was always comforted by how big of a heart she had.

“This is something I have to do on my own, sadly,” Merlin answered with a small smile. “Besides, we can’t all abandon Arthur. He needs someone here at his side or he’ll never get through the day without getting into some trouble.”

Morgana took Gwen’s place, but instead of a hug she simply took Merlin’s hands. “At least allow me to ask Sir Leon to accompany you there?” she tried.

“I promise I’ll be all right. It’s just home, and I haven’t heard a word from my mum about any ill-doing of late.”

“I am sorry I could not be of more help against the Witchfinder,” she told the warlock, seemingly putting it all on her shoulders. “If I had known what he was going to do to you—“

“He would have used anything to implicate you like he already intended,” Merlin shook his head. “It was worth taking to protect you and Gaius.” Uther wouldn’t have allowed her to do a single thing regardless. Merlin wasn’t on his list of people to save.

Merlin pulled back from the girls and pushed up onto his horse. “I will send word to you when I have reached Ealdor,” he promised.

The girls faded into the distance the further he got from Camelot’s gates. A part of him was disappointed that he couldn’t bid farewell to Arthur, but he supposed it was for the best. Merlin wouldn’t have been able to make himself leave if he had spotted the prince.

There was an odd feeling to leaving behind his destiny and the city he’d called home for over a year. A promise that he’d return didn’t levy it; Merlin shouldn’t be leaving in the first place. Not without Arthur. The Great Dragon won’t be pleased with him either. Merlin quite frankly felt as if he was abandoning it all and running with his tail between his legs. Logically he knew that wasn’t the case at all, but you can’t stop feelings.

With each marker, he could feel a change in himself. Camelot was no longer in sight, Merlin felt hollow. The woods began to clear and make way for fields and a dirt path; he felt guilt and even a pang of longing, though he couldn’t specify what that was for. He swore he could see Druids watching him in the shadows, judging him for not being strong enough. The temptation to get his horse in a gallop was big under that one. Anything to get away from the eyes he could feel on his back.

Merlin took short breaks as the sun got higher in the sky; not for himself, but for the steed. He wasn’t careless of the animal and wouldn’t want it to tire too quickly. The breaks were sufficed for his thoughts, so he wasn’t entirely without the advantage of them.

But it was quiet, and there wasn’t enough for Merlin to distract himself with. The sunlight didn’t keep Aredian’s face from appearing behind closed eyelids. The warmth didn’t deplete the ghostly cold that ran over his skin. And none of it shoved away every memory of pain. Those were the things that pushed Merlin further down the path to get away.

When Ealdor finally came into view, Merlin didn’t feel like himself. Didn’t feel anything at all but the old homesickness he used to have upon first leaving home on his mum’s behest. The last visit back here hadn’t been on the best of terms and his heart had been heavy again. Merlin was starting to feel like there was a pattern.

Merlin dismounted his horse and used the reigns to walk it down the dirt path into the village. Familiar faces were working the replenished fields and the small shops. Repaired homes could almost look traceless of the battle they all fought long ago with the aid of the Pendragon prince and ward.

Some of the villagers caught his eye the further he got. There were smiles and waves, welcomes that shook off an unwarranted concern Merlin felt.

“Merlin!” came a high-pitched squeal. The warlock turned in time for a small child to launch into him.

“ _Oof_ ,” he breathed, then gave a chuckle and put his arms around the young girl, free hand coming up to ruffle a mop of copper curls. “My, how you’ve grown, Evaine.”

Evaine, who’d been a tiny thing when Merlin had moved to Camelot, was now eight and reaching his stomach in height. She’d been the mischievous sort who loved to chase after him and Will when they got on with some of those not so innocent schemes of theirs. Looking at her now, Merlin was chagrined about not getting to be there for her.

“Mummy said you were coming back but I didn’t believe her!” Evaine exclaimed, her hold strong for a young girl and a grin wide like the warlock remembered.

“Well I simply couldn’t go another day without seeing what trouble you’ve gotten into without me,” Merlin replied with a returning smile.

Evaine pouted and pulled away to cross her arms. Merlin could still see that spark in her eyes. “What makes you think I’ve been in trouble?”

Merlin said nothing, just arched a brow at the little one and waited. Evaine huffed and rolled her eyes.

“Maybe I wouldn’t be in so much trouble if you were here,” she challenged.

“Something tells me that wouldn’t be true,” Merlin returned bemusedly. He put an arm around the girl and gave her another hug. “I did miss you.”

“I missed you, too,” Evaine grumbled.

“Evaine! Get back in here and help me with the pies!”

The two looked at the source of the call, a middle-aged woman with a wrinkled face and ragged clothes covered in flour. Evaine let go of Merlin with a new pout and ran off to her mother.

“Hello there, Merlin,” the woman greeted kindly.

“Hello, Helaine. Have you seen my mum by chance?”

Helaine ushered Evaine inside with a look over her shoulder at Merlin. “I believe she’s home, dear. She said something about preparing for your arrival.”

Well that put another smile on his face. He waved in thanks and carried on down the familiar path to his old home. Being surrounded by old friends and neighbors, smelling the smoke and herbs from his childhood, Merlin felt that maybe this could work after all. He wouldn’t mind re-acclimating here.

There was humming as Merlin approached his home. It rang so many bells that brought back the memory of hearing his mother while she worked around the house. Often times back at Camelot he would think about it when he was feeling rather maudlin.

Merlin tied up his horse before heading inside. It wasn’t much smaller than the chambers he and Gauis shared; it was actually slightly bigger. Still, it felt like nothing had changed since his last visit. That was comforting for Merlin.

“There’s my boy.”

One of those knots loosened again. Merlin set his bag down so that he could hug his mother. It would never stop hitting him like a punch to the gut how long it’s been each time they’ve parted from each other.

This time Merlin clung to her, everything hitting him at once. His stomach plummeted and his breath shook. But his mum didn’t let go.

“It’s all right, Merlin,” she soothed with a hand petting his hair, “you’re home now. I’ve got you.”

Merlin had sincerely hoped he wouldn’t have this breakdown until at least a full day back. By now he accepted nothing went his way most of the time. As long as it was only his mum seeing him do it then maybe he’ll be able to get over it.

-o-

His home had quickly become too small for him to breathe when the sobs ended. Gratefully his mum had walked him out and down a path so he could collect himself. She never cut off the contact between them or said a word. His mum had a way of letting Merlin be ready before diving into her own thoughts.

Merlin hadn’t paid enough attention to put together which path they’d gone down. So for him it was unexpected to reach the end and find the dirt give way to grass, and for the grass to give way to the marker of a grave. Losing Will in the fight against Kanen was a blow he had not yet moved on from.

It was another tick on the list of things that broke Merlin down.

“Why are we here?” Merlin asked warily, hoarse from all the sobs.

“I am not the only one who missed you,” Hunith answered. “Nor am I the only one who cannot bear to see the pain that weighs heavily on your heart. There’s so much more of it this time, Merlin.”

“Did Gauis tell you everything?”

“There are some things better spoken between mother and son.”

Merlin slowly moved out of her hold and knelt down in front of his friend’s grave. Memories of Will played through his mind like pictures, their games and smiles, the closeness that could have been something else if Camelot hadn’t become his destiny.

Each like tiny daggers through his chest.

The worst being that very last moment of life in Will’s eyes.

Everyone sees fit to make sacrifices for Merlin, but he didn’t see what made him worth it. The Great Dragon had to be wrong about him.

“He didn’t care if anyone he accused used magick for real or not,” Merlin said bitterly. No, not bitter. Furious. The numbness liked to encourage that if not anything else.

“Men like that rarely do,” Hunith agreed softly, leaving it open for Merlin to continue.

“Gaius almost—that man had Uther wrapped around his finger and the King was willing to believe him over a close friend like Gaius.” The fact had continuously filled Merlin with disgust. “And the only reason that happened was because Gaius thought he was protecting me.

“So then it was my turn to protect him right back. And Gwen, and Morgana. _Morgana_. The monster lacked such a soul that he’d take innocents no matter their status or character. He _wanted_ panic.”

His fingers dug deep into the earth. Merlin could feel the pulse of his magick and its desire to lash out. This wasn’t the place for it and he will not risk his mum.

“Gauis is the only one who’s seen the scars.” That was the way Merlin wanted it to stay. Arthur and the girls worried about him but it wasn’t over the physical part of it.

Morgana had been the one to find him strapped down in Aredian’s dungeon while Gwen revealed to Uther and Arthur that the man was merely a fake. But Morgana had only seen how his face and hands looked; most of those were almost gone.

Merlin’s breath started to hitch the more he let himself think of it all. “I—“ he gasped, “I wouldn’t give him the pleasure of hearing what he wanted. But he seemed to like that too, since it allowed him to do as much as he wanted to me.”

The whole time Merlin was just holding onto the relief that as long as Aredian’s attention was solely on him then his friends wouldn’t be next. All the cuts, all the burns and electrocution and waterlogging, the pain that made him scream until his throat was raw. None of it changed his mind on that.

He just wished that he could stop reliving it every night.

A gentle hand rested on his shoulder, then slowly moved up to run through his hair. Merlin leaned into his mum, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply before he could get any worse.

“My sweet boy,” Hunith knelt by her son and pulled him close with a kiss to his forehead, “you’ve always done what you felt was right. You’ve proven to be such a strong young man. I couldn’t be prouder.”

Merlin shuddered with a sob. How could she be proud?

“Every hero hits a dark spot along their path. Not every opponent you face will go away easily, Merlin. Some will take time to recover from. This is one of those dark spots. But you’ll find the light again.”

“Will I?”

“Yes. You will. William believed it, and I always have too.”

They did get out of the darkness that had been Nimueh. Merlin wasn’t sure if this will like that, but his mum was always good at convincing him to try.

-o-

That wasn’t the last visit to Will’s grave. Nor was it the last breakdown.

There hadn’t been a set expiration to his forced vacation, but Merlin slowly grew thankful to that. Coming back to Ealdor proved to be what he needed.

Merlin’s mum had set him up to spend the stay tending to the villagers much like he aided Gaius with in Camelot. Evaine picked back up on following him around, watching closely as he’d examine their neighbors and ask questions. Merlin would answer, but only with the nongraphic ones.

His days consisted of rising with the sun, eating with his mum, helping the ill and injured, then visiting Will before supper and trying to sleep.

Sleep didn’t come easy but Merlin hadn’t expected it to.

Aredian still haunted him, and brought the ghosts of the tools that left the scars. Sometimes Merlin woke himself with cries, and other times Arthur would show up in that dungeon to return the favor by stopping the witchfinder.

“Do they hurt?” Evaine had asked him one day. Merlin had needed to roll up the sleeves of his tunic so that they wouldn’t get covered in John Helcombe’s blood during a wound cleaning.

It gave the little one a clear view of the silvery lines and circles of his scars.

He’d given Evaine a tight smile and tapped his temple. “Only in here.”

Evaine came to his side the next day with a basket full of freshly baked bread courtesy of her mother.

Each passing day felt like a snail crawl. The darkness retracted in agonizingly slow increments.

But the first morning Merlin woke up without the aftershocks of Aredian’s cold, fathomless eyes? There was a real smile for the first time since that dungeon and he wouldn’t trade that for anything.

After the first week of being away from the castle, Gaius had send a letter checking in. Merlin in kind kept up a correspondence with his mentor. The old man was the one he shared the whole truth with, and each careful tread of recovering.

The days got lighter and so did the weight of Aredian’s farewell gift.

One of Gaius’ letters mentioned of Arthur getting surlier with each day Merlin wasn’t there. The warlock couldn’t say he expected it. Though he did pity Oswalt, his poor replacement.

But even with this more normal feeling, Merlin wasn’t ready to return yet.

Don’t get him wrong. He missed his friends and knew that a destiny was still waiting for him to come back. But…

All right, Merlin might be procrastinating on that. He was feeling like himself again and not afraid of the trials he’d just gone through. Going back could jeopardize that.

Then again, the world was never good at letting Merlin go his own pace.

He’d lost track of how long he’d been back in Eadlor. Longer than a week, that was certain. His stack of letters from Gaius (now with a few from Morgana and Guinevere. Never Arthur though.) was enough to start taking up most of the space in his bag.

Merlin had spent the first part of his day attending to some children whose parents had come to him talking about fever and clammy skin. He counted the low level of luck in his reserves that it wasn’t anything dire. A few vials of medicine and they’d be fine in no time.

As he stepped out of their home Merlin could hear his name from a little ways away.

“Merlin!”

As if on cue, there was Evaine coming his way.

“Merlin!” she called out again as she sputtered to a halt in front of hm.

“Morning, Evaine. I thought you were supposed to be helping out your mum today.”

“I am, I am! But she sent me to find you!”

“Whatever for? Is something wrong?” Merlin asked worriedly.

Evaine shook her head. She grabbed his hand and pulled, a girl on a mission and urgently trying to finish it.

Merlin only budged a few steps. “What is it, Evaine? I’m not some mind reader.”

“The prince is here for you!” The little girl huffed, still pulling on his hand.

Merlin stilled. “What?”

“It’s the prince!” Evaine repeated. “He stopped by our place and asked mummy if we knew where to find you!”

Arthur is here? How is that possible? Uther wouldn’t have let him come all this way again. Not for a manservant.

“What did you tell him?” Merlin asked, looking around them to find the folk talking in hushed excited whispers amongst themselves.

“Mummy sent him to your place but we gotta get there now!”

He supposed there weren’t many places that they _could_ have sent Arthur to.

So destiny decided that he couldn’t continue his vacation, from the sounds of it. It wasn’t ideal but Merlin learned already to choose his battles. He’d never fight against Arthur like that again. Just when the prince is being a stupid clotpole.

He no longer dragged his feet against the news. Merlin let Evaine lead him in her excitement down the paths until they reached his home. Outside next to his horse was another from Camelot’s stables. One Merlin recognized very well from the hoard of trips Arthur and his knights have gone on.

“Go on back to your mum, Evaine,” he told the young girl. Merlin had built up immunity long ago to her pouts.

“But Merlin,” she whined.

“I’ll bring him along later for you to properly see him. Deal?”

“Fine,” Evaine huffed, though he could see that excitement return. “Bye Merlin!” she called as she ran back down the path.

Merlin waited until she was gone before he made any more steps forward. He could pretend he doesn’t know Arthur’s in there. But that was a cowardice move and despite the prince’s situational ignorance he wasn’t stupid to fall for something like that.

The only thing he could do was prepare himself and hold his head high as he went inside.

The first thing Merlin saw of the prince was his back. Not for the first time did he think it was a good backside. Arthur was attractive and fit, with muscles on the right side of defined. Merlin accepted a while ago that he had a thing for Arthur. The firm buttocks that came with piercing blue eyes and golden hair was one of the things that made Merlin admit it to himself.

It was somewhat reassuring though that Arthur was in a red tunic and dark trousers instead of armor. So it was safe to assume that Camelot wasn’t in any immediate danger.

That narrowed the possibilities down a bit.

Merlin watched Arthur look over his home. The prince might not have thought to do it much when he was here the first time.

He cleared his throat and found a tiny burst of satisfaction seeing Arthur jolt. The prince even looked sheepish when he turned around but that was quickly covered up.

“There you are,” Arthur crossed his arms, trying to hold that princely dignity up for display.

“In my home, yes,” Merlin nodded with an amused smile. “I’m often here when I’m not tending to patients.”

Arthur blinked in surprise, his brows rising up to meet his hairline. “Patients?”

“I look after the villagers. It’s something useful for me to do, seeing as I actually pay attention to Gaius’ lessons.” Merlin gestured to the table and waited for Arthur to sit before he took the stool across from the blond.

“Well, that’s fantastic,” the prince responded.

“I suppose.”

“It is, I was afraid you would slack off.”

Merlin scoffed. “I’ve always done my job, and far better than I’m sure Oswalt has been.

‘’One can’t be picky with the temporary help,” Arthur relented.

“If that’s the closest you’re going to get to saying you miss me, then I’ll have to say I’m flattered, Arthur.”

The prince shrugged like it was nothing. “And you’re…doing well?” he pressed. Leave it to Arthur to always fail as casualty.

“I am, actually,” Merlin answered, watching the prince carefully.

Arthur kept his gaze aimed down at the table between them. He almost looked…hurt? “You didn’t even tell me you were leaving.”

Merlin paused. There were a few tries before he could form a full response. “You were the one who told Gaius I needed some time,” he said slowly.

“I _did_ ,” Arthur agreed, flustered, “but I didn’t mean you had to leave, I just—“

“Gaius thought it was the best thing—“

“—I’m glad you got to come see your mother, I am, but—“

“—and it _has_ been, so I don’t see—“

“—I just wanted you to be work through—“

“Why do you have such a problem with me being out here?” Merlin asked in a swirl of hurt and confusion. “If it’s such a problem then why—“

“Because I wanted you to confide in me!” Arthur shouted. They both sat there in shock, the prince for saying it and Merlin for hearing it.

“Arthur…” the warlock was once more at a loss for words.

The blond deflated and folded his hands before resting them on the table and leaning forward. When he spoke again, he was soft, and quiet, like he was afraid to even let the words come out or what they’ll do to the manservant. Being vulnerable wasn’t easy for either one of them, but more so for Arthur. Merlin blamed Uther’s coldness for that.

“I let you down. I didn’t stop my father or Aredian from what they put Gaius through. And when Aredian took you I—I still couldn’t get my father to put a stop to it. I owe Guinevere many thanks for showing him what a fool he was to believe the witchfinder. I was so relieved, Merlin.” And with the way Arthur’s eyes were wet, Merlin easily believed it.

“Arthur, I haven’t been blaming you for what happened. Uther is stuck in his ways. I knew he wouldn’t listen without that proof,” Merlin said gently.

“I blame myself,” Arthur stated, grief-stricken eyes staring back at the brunet. “Morgana told me how you looked when she found you. I should have come to see you then, but I…so I waited. I waited, and watched, and tried to give you that space to recover and talk to me. But you didn’t. That’s all I wanted. For you to want to tell me what was going on in your head, to tell me how I of all people could make it better. It’s not something I could go off and maim, and working you to the bone was merely a poor distraction that I wasn’t going to continue letting you use.”

“Okay, Arthur,” Merlin started, shaking his head, “don’t do this. It was going to happen even if you had managed to do anything. And I…what’s in my head? It’s not easy to say. I’m finally dealing with it and sleeping a full night. Telling you any of it would have just made you feel guiltier than you miraculously already feel. I don’t want that. I needed to leave and do this on my own.”

“You didn’t even tell me you were leaving,” Arthur said bitterly. “What was I supposed to think, Merlin? It left me a lot of room to blame myself.”

“I’m sorry, Arthur. That was never what I wanted.”

“Did you even plan on coming back? Or sending me a letter like you’ve been doing with our friends?”

“I was always going to come back. I am meant to be there at your side,” Merlin swore before shifting in his own guilt. “But I didn’t know what to say to you. Nothing felt adequate enough. I also didn’t know if Uther would have let you receive the letters if I tried.”

“That’s ridiculous. Of course I would have gotten it.”

“Your father despises me,” Merlin deadpanned. “I would not put it past him to do it.”

Arthur sighed, exasperated. “Well, there were no letters so it is a moot point, Merlin.”

“It is.” He agreed quietly.

“It’s strange,” Arthur said as his eyes roamed over the brunet, “not having you at my side.”

“It is,” Merlin agreed again.

Arthur hesitated, then unclasped his hands and reached out to Merlin, surprising the warlock by taking one of his own. Merlin looked up to meet the most uncertain gaze he’s ever seen from the prince.

“And…I think that I need you. By my side.”

There was such a weight to that. It was more than them being Prince and manservant.

“When did you start to think that?” Merlin asked carefully.

“When you left,” Arthur answered honestly. “But it…it’s felt as if maybe it’s been there for longer. I just didn’t catch on.”

Destiny was a powerful thing. It had taken Merlin a while to see just how powerful. There was more than the weight of responsibility of protecting Arthur or the Albion becoming a reality. It was one thing to hear what the future held, and another to discover the path on your own.

The way Merlin’s felt about Arthur? That was destiny too, but it took a completely organic development.

“Everything I’ve done and will continue to do is for you, Arthur,” Merlin told the prince. He could feel the way they both had drawn closer to each other, the table doing nothing to hinder that.

Arthur’s eyes dipped down to Merlin’s mouth and came back up. “Does that mean you want this?”

As Merlin diminished the remaining space between them, he only had to whisper “Yes, Arthur. I want you,” before letting their mouths come together for the first time.

**A Day Later**

With a farewell to his mum and Evaine, Merlin set out with Arthur back to Camelot.

Merlin knew that his scars weren’t ever going to fully heal. But he was okay with that now. Even more he was ready to set back on his destiny right at Arthur’s side.

Now there’d be more to it.

As they rode their horses into the woods and had the walls of Camelot slowly get closer, there were no shadows making Merlin want to run.

“Merlin,” Arthur spoke up, warm eyes on the warlock.

“Yes, Sire?”

Arthur’s lips twitched, _oh_ , they were going to have some fun with that now.

“I want you to swear to me something.”

“Calling you a clotpole when you well deserve it will not stop,” Merlin told him with very little sympathy.

Arthur rolled his eyes to the heavens and sighed, “That’s not it, _Merlin_. Now be serious.”

“All right, yes, what is it?”

“Swear to me that you’ll allow me to be there for you.”  
  
Merlin slowed his horse and waited for Arthur to follow suit. “Arthur—“

“Please. I don’t care what it is,” Arthur insisted. “If you’re worn out and weary, if you just need someone there. Whatever it is, Merlin, I’ll cover you.”

“Oh you really are a clotpole,” Merlin breathed. He wound a hand into the front of Arthur’s tunic, giving the prince a few seconds of warning before he pulled him in for a firm but sweet kiss. “You’re my light, Arthur. I’m here for you. So it would behoove me to let you try to do the same.”

Arthur smiled and pulled back. Then he gave the back of Merlin’s head a _thwap_ before trotting away.

“Ow!” Merlin complained, rubbing the now tender spot. He urged his own horse on so Arthur couldn’t get too far ahead of him. “What was that for?”

“What, did you think that those would stop?” Arthur asked innocently. “They’re staying put just like your hurtful insults.”

“We’ll see about that,” Merlin grumbled.

They both still had smiles for each other though. And coming home together felt like a new lease, on their love, and on life.

Merlin wasn’t going to ruin that and Arthur wasn’t going to either.

**Author's Note:**

> So, yeah, might have used a lyric or two from the song. Rent gives me feels and I couldn't resist. I hope you all enjoyed the fic though and the happy.
> 
> Come say hi to me at my Tumblr, [Wolfnprey](https://wolfnprey.tumblr.com/) , and we can talk about Merthur, or if you have any requests!


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